I Can't Forget Her
by TriGemini
Summary: Chris thinks about Bianca. One-shot.


**I Can't Forget Her**

By TriGemini

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters of Charmed, only Aaron Spelling and WB does. Therefore, please do not sue.

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**A/N: **This takes place after Chris-Crossed and before and It's A Bad, Bad World.

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_I can't…_

_I don't want to…_

Forget the one girl in my life that I've loved for so long. Bianca was everything to me and even though she's gone…she still means a lot to me. She gave me love when I had none. She never let me give up when things got really bad or tough. She even comforted me when I felt lost. Now who's going to do all that?

Sure since I came back to the past, it hasn't exactly been easy. The sisters didn't trust me one bit (not that I don't blame them for I haven't given them any reason to do so), they didn't like the news that Wyatt had become the new Source-of-all-Evil and practically destroyed half of San Francisco for his own amusement. Not to mention the whole mess when they found out I was part witch/whitelighter, that didn't go over very well. They hated the fact that I kept secrets from them. However what could I do? What could I say? There were times I wanted to scream out in frustration and just tell them I was Piper's second son, Wyatt's younger brother. Nevertheless, I knew I couldn't do that. For that reason by itself, I was completely alone here in the past.

_No friends!_

_No comfort!_

_No reassurance that things would get better._

I thought nothing could be worse then what was already happening. However, I was wrong. I was terribly wrong.

I didn't believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes. _Bianca…_She had come back for me, her mission was to strip me of my powers and take me back to Wyatt. I couldn't understand why she was doing this. We worked so hard to try to fight off Wyatt's forces and now here she was working for the one person who could destroy anybody that opposed him.

_That included me._

Since Wyatt had turned evil, I had gone underground to start the resistance movement against him. There were enough witches, surviving Elders, whitelighters, some demons, other magical beings, and mortals that believed that Wyatt had to be stopped before things got even worse. However, Wyatt took things a bit personally. He didn't care about the others as much for what they did, or were trying to do. I on the other hand was a different story. After all, I'm his brother, his only family that's left. Wyatt's convinced that it's our destiny to rule together. In my opinion, I think that Wyatt has delusions of grandeur, if he believes that I'm going to join. No matter what tactics he uses, no matter how many threats he makes I'm still going to stand my ground against him. It's not supposed to be this way. It can't be this way. Unfortunately, Wyatt is blinded by power and just doesn't see straight anymore. Yet I still call him my brother and no matter what we still, have a bond that can't be severed because it's tied by blood. However, because of him I met Bianca. He had sent her to kill me on several occasions beforehand. She never succeeded because she didn't believe in Wyatt's belief of _'there's no good and evil…just power.'_ Not to mention, when we met we were slightly attracted to each other, as well. We saw each other on and off at several undisclosed locations. Places where we wouldn't be seen or heard so that none of this would get back to Wyatt. Plus we had to keep our growing relationship a secret until it was safe enough for us to reveal it to the Resistance (who I knew would be certainly suspicious of bringing Bianca into the headquarters of the Resistance and Sanctuary, that we established in the deep underground systems). Overall I didn't care what they though of, or what they would do. All that matter was the Bianca would be with me.

_Back to the future…or is it Hell?_

When we returned to the future, Wyatt had been waiting for us at the manor, which he had turned into a museum. At this moment for once, I could care less about what would happen and confronted Wyatt. He first scolded me for betraying him; I on the other hand tried to convince him that I wasn't betraying him. That instead I was trying to save him from what he'd become but like always he wouldn't listen. However, I knew Wyatt's philosophy that when it concerned me, he thought he drove away everything I knew and love that he would be the only thing left. After all, we're family…brothers…blood…and the only ones left of the great line of Halliwell witches. Even in doing all this, I was trying his patience with the argument we were having. I should have realized that arguing with Wyatt wasn't helping the situation at all. Instead, like always, Wyatt got angry and perhaps he had decided that I wasn't really worth all the trouble to convert after all. Therefore, in a swift gesture, he raised his fist and the next moment I realized he was suffocating me. For a while I truly believed I done for since I couldn't breathe at all. Then he waved his hand and threw me towards the wall in the back of the attic. He didn't even give any time to recover when he threw again into a table this time. When I crash-landed on the floor, I suddenly heard an angry outburst from Bianca as she yelled at Wyatt saying, _"You had promised you wouldn't hurt Chris if I brought him back!"_ From where I was, lying on the floor Wyatt kept looking at me and sneered back at Bianca saying, _"And you had promised that could convince him to join me. It's obvious Bianca you went back on your word, so there is no sense in keeping mine." _Bianca ran over to where I was lying, she then bent over me so I could see the tears that were beginning to fall down her face. I so badly wanted to wipe them away to reassure her that everything would be fine. However, I felt this wasn't a moment for sentimentalities. Nevertheless, I did try to calm her down even though she was silently pleading with me to stop fighting. That she hadn't brought me back so Wyatt could kill me. I then managed to get the spell that the sisters had left for me and got my powers back. In doing so Wyatt had thrown Bianca toward the broken table which had been broken earlier by my fall, she then landed on one of the legs of the table that as she fell downward it stabbed her. I couldn't believe it…I didn't want to believe it…I was slowly losing her. She smiled sadly knowing all too well that she was dying. She even reminded that we had been in this position before and I laughed slightly while choking back a sob. She then told me to go on and do what we had planned. At this point, I didn't care about anything else I just wanted her to be all right but I knew that would be impossible because she was dying. Before having to let go of her hand and leaving her side, she gave me the engagement ring I'd gotten for her. She told me that she wanted to give me a reminder of what we were fighting for, to give me a reason to keep on fighting. I knew with those words I wouldn't be able to let the ring go and that I would continue to fix whatever happened, or at least die trying any ways.

_Back to the past…with a reason to go on and that's to save Wyatt and the future._

When I finally returned to the past, I was to some extent bitter and yet determined. After suffering another lost, I felt that I would do whatever it took to change the past. So that all the people I knew, my mom, my aunts, my cousins, my friends, our family's friends would be alive and well again. I also wanted my brother back…the real him. Not this twisted version of him that he's created for himself. However, I also want Bianca back, so that one day I can hold her in my arms again and tell her how much I love her. Since the first day I met her, I realized she and I were made for each other. Sure even now it sounds star-crossed from the start, her being a Phoenix witch, an elite assassin, who did work for my brother at some point, but realized what he was doing was wrong. I was working for the Resistance, opposing Wyatt at every step of the way. I was the biggest threat to my brother and he knew it. That's why he tried to stop me. It didn't matter to either of us at that time. Nevertheless, we fought side by side, from dawn to dusk and we did everything together. She was the love of my life…she still is no matter if she's gone; she is one of my reasons to go on fighting. It didn't matter if she betrayed me, had stripped my powers, and took me back to the future to my brother. I don't hate her…I couldn't hate her and she knew it, too. I also know the only reason she would have done this is if she felt there was no other way and that she was truly desperate to save me. For she would do anything to do so, even if it meant doing Wyatt's bidding. Besides, she really thought Wyatt wouldn't try to hurt me. However, like always we were all caught up in one of Wyatt's lies. For his false promise only brought on the untimely death of Bianca. When she was severely hurt, I thought for a moment who should have been dying was me. Not her! She only confronted Wyatt because he had broken his promise. Also, because she knew I was the only one to complete this mission of ours. Still as I held her and felt her life slowly slipping away I knew that I would be able to forget her that easy. Even if I tried, she was deeply imbedded into my memory and in my heart. Even after several months, I still can't get over it. I sometimes have a hard time realizing that I've lost her and that she's no longer alive. For at times I long to feel her…see her…hear her…at those moment all I can do is close my eyes and conjure up an image of the woman I truly, deeply loved…no still love. Even after what Wyatt had done. He could never banish the memories I had of Bianca and me.

Even now that my family knows the truth about knowing who I am. They can't understand what Bianca meant…no what she still means to me. My mom tries to understand. But I know she holds Bianca responsible for trying to kill me. I knew right then it was probably best that I didn't tell her that Bianca had tried to kill me several times before we actually fell in love with one another. Not to mention she doesn't understand what Bianca and I had gone through all the time we were together. My Aunt Phoebe on the other hand has some understanding do to her previous relationship with Cole. Still it's not really the same. They just don't understand the emptiness I feel, the sadness that creeps up on me every time I think of her. However, the memories will always be there still as if they were just made yesterday. The way she would smile at me, the way she would toss her long dark hair over her shoulder when she would look back at me, the way her hands would linger gently on my face after we'd share a kiss, the way her body had always stilled when I was near her or just lying right next to her. We had our moments, some pleasant, some terrible, but we always promised one another to make it through them. Losing her was one of the hardest moments in my life, next to losing my mom, and the rest of my family. Of course, I knew that if I changed the past, she'd be alive once more in the future and I'm looking forward to finding her again and making new memories with her. Nevertheless, until then I just can't forget her.

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**A/N: **So was good or bad to read. Please review and tell me. 


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